6 steps for regulating your nervous system
Have you ever paused to reflect on the remarkable intricacies of your nervous system and its profound influence on your daily life? Chances are, this subject has probably not crossed your mind, and that’s certainly not your fault. Because unless you’re pursuing a medical profession, the workings of this complex system often remain uncharted territory in our education. Which is why we are delving into this complex yet vital subject in this article.
Sabin Lakhani, Founder & CEO of Kokorology and Codex, shares her expert guidance with six steps to better understand your nervous system and how you can regulate it.
What is the nervous system and why is it so important?
Imagine your nervous system as the architectural design of your being, meticulously overseeing and fine-tuning all elements of your life. The depth of your understanding about how your own functioning and choices correspond directly to your equilibrium, directly reflect either a harmonious or imbalanced state for your nervous system.
The influence of our nervous system extends far beyond our internal realm; it encompasses every facet of our existence. It governs, guides, and harmonises every element within us and around us. From orchestrating the subtlest inner workings to the rhythms of our surroundings, it stands as the conductor of our being. Even the most intricate movements, like our heartbeat, fall under its command. When our nervous system is thrown off balance, its repercussions reverberate through our life and well-being, plunging us into potential discord. This intricate web dictates our functionality, yet its significance often goes unnoticed by many.
1.Decipher your intrinsic desires
In order to regulate your nervous system it’s really important to understand the why behind your goals, desires and choices. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to pursue what we think is important, that our judgement gets clouded. We become consumed by objectives like shedding weight, sculpting muscle, increasing our income, keeping up appearances, etc. The list is endless! However, we don’t think about the potential stress that these goals are having on our lives, which often outweigh the intended benefits.
We should be excited about our goals! They should bring us joy. A spark of new potential for ourselves. Many people choose a goal without really understanding the reasons behind their choice. Let’s take losing weight as an example. Wanting to shed some extra weight to fit into a favourite outfit or increase our body confidence is a totally normal desire. But when this goal makes us miserable, we have to question whether this is what we really want, and if it’s that important to us, then why? Without this clarity, your choices could become disheartening down the line, and become counterproductive.
Happiness and tranquillity should be the hallmark of your objectives and choices. If your pursuits trigger stress, it totally counteracts your intention for well-being. For instance, if you’re shedding weight through excessive exercise and a strict diet, you might get some positive initial results, but in due course, this rigorous regime will strain your body and mind. You need to strike a balance with your goals and desires.
By understanding your intrinsic desires and why they are important to you, you will be able to approach them with a lot more resilience and joy.
2.Let go of rigid prescriptions
Let’s be honest and human. There are times when we crave something that might be less than optimal for our health. Ever fallen into the temptation of a KFC or McDonald’s? Those committed to a low carb or vegan lifestyle might wince at the thought. But consider this: granting yourself that occasional guilty pleasure, say once a month, does it truly spell disaster? Particularly when juxtaposed with an overall healthy lifestyle for the rest of the month.
Living wellness through regimented choices is not wellness. If our choices become constricting, regimented and out of sync with our innate state, this will counteract our state of well-being. Subjecting your body through regimented choices will trigger negative signals that will ripple through your physical and systemic equilibrium, inevitably impacting your nervous system. Because our entire organism is interconnected. If you are listing a myriad of dos and don’ts for yourself, then you are adding extra pockets of stress in your life and body.
The key is to find the balance in the change. To slowly shift our habits into a different direction over time that feels good to us. Do you feel joy from what you are consuming? Similarly with movement. Are you feeling joy in how you move? Instead of killing yourself in the gym, could you go for a walk or climb a few flights of stairs every day. Or you might find joy working out at the gym or hiring a personal trainer. The key is to ask yourself: what nurtures my body and aligns with my joy? It is so important to find the balance in how we do things and how we flow with them. This is what helps to regulate our nervous system. If we start with a super strict regime, the more likely we are to fall off the wagon, to feel disheartened, and to feed negative emotions into our nervous system.
3.Avoid using food and other substances as a coping mechanism
When I’m feeling sad and have the urge to consume food despite a full stomach, I recognise the impulse: I am trying to fill an emotional void with food. It’s an attempt to mask emotions and to overwhelm my body’s processing capacity with sustenance. Navigating the terrain of our nervous system encompasses mastering the art of dialogue with our physical self. It entails deciphering the cues that arise during periods of sadness, overwhelm, or anger and understanding what our body needs during these moments.
Consider sadness as an example. Our habitual reaction might involve seeking solace in food, alcohol or even extreme activities. In the instance of reaching for that chocolate bar, you might question: do I genuinely desire this or am I stifling an unwanted emotion? More often than not, the craving emerges as a means to alleviate sadness, anxiety, or to elevate dopamine levels through a sugary surge.
By deciphering these coping mechanisms, you could instead try reaching out to a friend or family member, going for a walk, or do some brief stretching. This can work wonders! Even dancing to a beloved tune within the privacy of your living room, can be an amazing antidote. In essence, you’re conditioning your body to confront discomfort through nourishing choices.
Intermittent fasting is a tool that I’ve incorporated into my own wellness journey, and which hugely helps in periods of potential binge eating. The reason for this is because it transmits a distinct message to my body: “let’s find another avenue to navigate this. Let’s not divert attention from what needs to be felt or addressed.” This tool assumes the role of a nervous system regulator, which reduces negative spirals and averts the domino effect where one setback could spark another.
Unlike the spiral of consuming unhealthy foods triggered by difficult emotions, intermittent fasting injects a pause and propels an upward trajectory. It’s a neurological recalibration, disrupting the patterns of thought that typically drag me down. Through holistic practices and resources, I have been able to foster the ability to lift myself in a positive direction.
4.Be careful with the need for external validation
We need to be very careful with our need for external validation. Despite being a confident person, I was still led to the point of depression because I was not serving my needs. I was always competing with and doing what society expected of me. Being successful, being good at my job, fulfilling expectations, earning more money. All this happened at the expense of my well being. Only in the aftermath of grappling with depression and my subsequent recovery did I realise this truth. Though the journey is ongoing, I’ve acquired tools that empower me to navigate rough waters without descending into a complete spiral. Crucially, these tools are rooted in a deep understanding of what works for me.
However, what resonates with me isn’t a universal formula. We’re all distinct entities, shaped by unique aspirations and needs. Our pathway to happiness is inherently personal. By first recognising the sources of our joy and the elements that rejuvenate us, the less dependent we are on external validations. We no longer find ourselves driven to prove our worth at the expense of our health and well-being. Constantly striving to demonstrate our value to the outside world imposes an insurmountable stress on our nervous system.
We also need to be very aware of our surroundings. Stress doesn’t merely stem from work, family, or dietary choices; it’s also woven into the fabric of our environment and interactions. Is our environment nurturing and supportive? If not, how can we transform it for the better? While altering one’s physical location might not always be feasible, we can alter our environment with better friends, less clutter, less tempting food, less chaotic choices. The people around us, too, can act as stressors to our nervous system. Unwarranted opinions and critiques can also elicit stress. Going back to my earlier point, we need to understand what works for us and implement what feels good. Only then can we live in harmony with ourselves and our nervous system.
5.Finding longevity in our goals
Some people may have long term goals, like having a child and all the life decisions that come with this. Some people may have shorter term goals, like wanting to lose 5 kgs. While both these goals may have different timelines, they both need to happen with as much happiness and success, and with the least amount of stress on our lives.
Therefore what I mean by longevity, is to find the golden nugget of why this is important in your life. How will this goal support your overall well being in the long term? By having a long term vision, you can then break down your goal into smaller actionable steps that always feed back into the larger goal. You must define your own level of well being and why it’s important to you. What wellness is to you will be very different to what wellness is to me, but the point is that in everything you do, every choice you make, your nervous system shouldn’t be stressed. We need to learn to flow with our decisions, to find the path of least resistance, and to do everything in service to regulating our nervous system.
6.Engage with wellness from an early age
The reason why I am so passionate about this topic is because of my own experience in the relentless race for perfection amd the pressure to conform to a specific way of looking or being. The goals I pursued lacked the bedrock of genuine wellness and longevity. Rather than being grounded in a firm foundation of self-identity and well-being, they remained superficial, devoid of the profound foresight that longevity demands.
This is why I launched Kokorology. Kokoro is the ancient Japanese meaning for the alignment of heart, mind, body and soul. Kokorology is the study of this methodology through movement, nourishment, healing and pausing. If we were to cultivate an understanding of wellness from an early age, armed with the tools to foster it, we could effectively learn to regulate our nervous systems from the outset. Embedding wellness education into the curriculum of schools from the start is pivotal in my belief.
While parents feed us, attempt to nurture our well-being, and encourage physical activity, often the “why” behind these actions remains elusive. Why are we urged to consume broccoli? Why the insistence on exercise and early bedtimes? The principles of wellness are simply not taught. And parents are not equipped to teach it because they were not taught it either. If this understanding and these pillars of wellness – movement, nourishment, healing and pausing – were taught early on, society would have a much more solid and stable ground to grow from.
To find out more about Sabin Lakhani and Kokorology, visit us here:
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